Sixteen new TV shows you'll never see

“L-Word” spinoff

Network: Showtime
Stars: Famke Janssen (“Nip/Tuck”), Laurie Metcalf (“Easy Money”), Leisha Hailey (“L Word”)
The pitch: The continuing ground-breaking saga of ridiculously attractive lesbians… in prison.
Why we think they didn’t pick it up: Try as we might, we cannot divine why Showtime would pass on the opportunity to broaden the “L-Word” audience with a lesbians-behind-bars series starring six-foot Dutch hottiezon Janssen. Since the cable net nixed all its pilots, our best guess is that the whole thing gave them a headache and they just didn’t want to think about it.