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Before you ask – no, there are no pretzels on the menu at Pretzels Bar & Grill. The only pretzels I saw at Pretzels are the ones embedded under Lucite in the bar and I bet they're stale. Some are shaped like the Anheuser-Busch logo – and Bud sold off Eagle Snacks back in 1996.
Pretzels is a neighborhood bar like a lot of neighborhood bars, which means it's got a little bit of everything you want with a beer — a couple pool tables, some electronic darts, video golf, some other video games, a lot of TV sets and even one of those crane games where you can win a furry stuffed whatzis. The front glass is covered with caricatures of folks that must be (or must have been) regulars.
Scoping: In fact, Pretzels has lots of regulars. On both of my visits with a buddy, I'm pretty sure we were the only two who had to tell the staff our names. One bartender (the owner?) ended his shift behind the bar by pouring a drink and sitting down on a stool with some of the other regs.
Drinking: Pretzels is old-school with all the bottles lined up in front of a bar behind the mirror. You gotta love a place that still has has that tall, thin bottle of Galliano. The liqueur is pretty much just used for Harvey Wallbangers, which I would suggest you vodka and OJ fans try sometimes. It's a trip back to 1977.
Pretzels is also one of the few beers around Orlando to carry Iron City Beer in a bottle ($3). Brewed in Pittsburgh's East End, it's a basic American pilsner that is either smooth or bland – depending on if you became of drinking age in the City of Bridges. Yuengling draft pints are $3 too.
Chewing: You can smoke inside Pretzels. You can even hear the occasional zap of old-school (there's that phrase again) smoke eaters in the ceiling. Since the bar allows you to puff away, Florida law requires it not make more than 10-percent of its revenue from food sales. If the food gets too good, it gets too popular, and you'll have to put out that Camel Light. In other words, Pretzels has an economic incentive to have good food, but not great food.
Hot wings ($7 for 10) are decent size and, always a plus for me, the first round of celery sticks and dressing are included. The cheese on the ultimate chicken nachos ($7.50) looks a little lumpy when melted, but it is real cheese and the kitchen made sure to get the meat, cheese and onions mixed with all the tortilla chips instead of just plopped on top.
The bleu buster burger ($7.50) comes with bleu cheese crumbles, bacon, lettuce, tomato, and onion. The kitchen forgot the bacon, but the bartender caught it and brought out a couple slices – after five minutes. On the upside, I got asked how I wanted the burger cooked (medium rare) and it came out pretty close (medium). Fries come on the side, or you can upgrade to onion rings for another $2. The rings are big and crispy, but I'm not sure if they're really worth an extra two bucks.
The Philly cheese steak ($7.75) is made with small chunks of beef instead of the more traditional slices, but flavor and texture are good considering the beef is almost certainly frozen and then thawed on the grill. If you prefer American “cheese” to provolone, the grilled cheese with tomato and bacon ($5.50) has enough fat and starch to get you ready for another round of Iron City.
Going: The mens room is distinctly funky, more an aroma issue than visible muck. What I'll really remember though is the mismatched MENS and HERS signs.
Departing: You have to grade food at bars like Pretzels on a curve. They're not trying to do much, but sometimes, doing not much and doing it reliably is OK. Plus, I can eat wings and my drinking buddy can smoke without him having to stop the conversation and walk outside. Sure, I end up smelling like an ashtray, but that's the price of friendship.
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