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My areas of expertise here at Metromix Orlando complex (a.k.a. my laptop and the left-hand corner of my sofa) are bar food and cheap food. This week, I've got a place that could fit either category, but since my next Bar Bites review is due before my next Cheap Eats review, guess which one it's gonna be!
Cheyenne Saloon and Opera House first opened in 1982, which is old enough to make it historic by Orlando standards. Sure, Pleasure Island and CityWalk snuffed Cheyenne for a while, but the doors are open again and you really should check it out. The woodwork is beautiful and everywhere. It's like crews disassembled three movie sets, six churches, a couple courtrooms and a bordello – and then shoehorned it all into one structure.
Generally, there's a $5 cover (more for a touring band), but Tuesday though Thursday from 5 to 7 p.m., the cover is dropped for happy hour and most drinks are $1 off. Better yet, on “Two Bit Tuesdays,” you can order up 25-cent wings, 75-cent mini barbecue sandwiches, 50-cent draft beers and $1 longneck bottles.
Scoping: Bars don't really come to life until later in the evening, but that's the price you pay for cheap beer and food. There's no hot waitresses in buckskin vests dancing across the bar at 5:30 p.m. Oh, they're hot, but they're too busy doing their prep work for the night to boot scoot and those vests might get in the way of slicing limes.
As far as the customers, they're the same kind of cheapo as you ... but you're hot, right? It's a mix of office workers drinking before they go home and the young, poor college-age crowd who want to find just the right ratio of cheap wings to cheap beer.
Drinking: I usually expect cheap beer deals to be the dregs, but Cheyenne's 50-cent mugs offer you a choice of Bud or Bud Light. It isn't Guinness, but it isn't Milwaukee's Best either. Even better, it's served really cold – like that can of Bud you sneaked out of the ice chest on the Fourth of July when you were 13. Just me?
Chewing: The full menu includes barbecue and prime rib, but we came for those “Two Bit Tuesday” specials – both of them.
The wings are basic, prepped with just salt, pepper and garlic. I'm guessing they're baked, but it's possible they saw a little hot oil before going into foil pans. You tell the bartender how many wings you want and he'll dish them into a wire basket. I don't know how long they'd sat, but the wings were still (temperature) hot, so it couldn't have been long. If you need ranch dressing, there's a gallon jug sitting on the bar too.
I was disappointed by the size of the 75-cent barbecue, but my drinking buddy felt wings are too messy and preferred paying extra to preserve his civility. The buns are the same size as a Krystal burger and the filling is a little sliced roast beef lunch meat with sauce. I've got no quibble with the quality; I'd just rather buy three wings and get more meat.
Going: The bathrooms are back behind the shoe-polishing stand. Yes, you read that right. There's more woodwork, though of a newer vintage. (Bad aim is not kind to antiques.) Men, if you lift a lot of weights, avoid the third urinal from the left. I've got scrawny biceps and barely had room between the partitions to raise my arms for, well, you know.
Departing: If you've only five bucks and it's Tuesday, you could hit Cheyenne for eight wings and three mugs of beer and still leave a small tip. (No, I'm not giving you permission to spend it all on yourself. Don't stiff your staff.) My advice is take your mug out onto the “Smoking Balcony” that overlooks Church Street and literally look down on the people who don't know how to squeeze a Lincoln like you do.
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