Celebration Town Tavern

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Don't be afraid, my fellow slackers. There is no ID check at the border of fancy Celebration, Florida. No fashion police will demand you wear pleated khakis. No one will ask your credit score or check for a disqualifying tattoo. You will be free to mingle with the Lily Pulitzer ladies and the men with Greg Norman sharks over their left nipples as though you were one of them.

Celebration Town Tavern is the big watering hole for downtown Celebration. It's decorated like a sports bar, but with emphasis on golf and Boston. Patriots and Red Sox memorabilia hang from the walls, bag tags from golf courses around the world are stapled over the bar, and signed, framed photos of Jordan Knight (NKOTB) and Tom Scholz (Boston) are nailed near the bathrooms.

Scoping: The lunch crowd is mostly tourists and locals who work in area offices. Evenings, the folks who actually live around here take over. Monday nights, a local radio golf talk show, The Leaderboard, broadcasts from the patio.

Drinking: Continuing the Boston theme, Celebration Town Tavern stocks multiple Sam Adams brews in the bottle ($4), as well as the standard American lagers ($3). On draft, I tried a pint of Bare Knuckle Stout ($4), which turns out to be Anheuser-Busch's clone of Guinness. Guinness is creamier and smokier, but it's also a dollar more per pint. Your call.

If you drink all 99 beers the bar stocks (no, not all in one visit), you get a mug on the wall. The bartender tells me one guy has done it multiple times. Look for the one mug that's l o n g e r than the others.

Chewing: Boston is, of course, a harbor town, so there's plenty of seafood on the menu. As an appetizer, the baked stuffed quahogs (yes, like on Family Guy) are diced, mixed with bread crumbs and spices, and baked back in the clamshells. At $8, they're flavorful, but I'd like more clam and less spongy bread.

Moving from surf to turf, the cheeseburger ($8) is a half-pounder. Surprisingly, cheese doesn't cost extra, though bacon is a buck more. The meat has above-average flavor for a pre-formed patty, but it's a little mushy. All the burgers come with your choice of fries, chips or potato salad and then baked beans or coleslaw. Fries are crisp on the outside. The potato salad is creamy. The baked beans come in a cute crock, but the sauce is a tad thin.

There's nothing thin about the turkey stacker sandwich ($12). Like a meal of Thanksgiving leftovers, Texas toast, sliced white meat, stuffing and mashed potatoes are moistened with gravy and topped with onion straws. A side of cranberry sauce finishes the plate. All the flavors work, but for the price, there's too much starch and not enough turkey meat.

For the veghead crowd, the vegetable primavera ($14) is a sautéed blend of zucchini, squash, onions, tomatoes and mushrooms served over bucatini. For me, the mushrooms and garlic dominate. I like that, but others may not. The side house salad is a more diverse mix of greens than I'd expected; a pleasant surprise.

If you hit Celebration Town Tavern for lunch, there are a few extra items on the menu. The three-cheese grilled cheese ($7) comes on that same Texas toast with a little sliced tomato. It's gooey but not oily. It's not on the menu, but you can add bacon for a buck more.

Going: I mentioned the autographed photos earlier, but I'm not sure how to account for the semi-shirtless signed photo of Jim Belushi over the men's room door. Over the urinals is a giant poster of drink recipes. The “Johnny Beach” requires four fruit juices and three liquors. Yeah, try ordering that at the bar and watch a friendly smile fade away.

Departing: Some menu items are definitely priced for Celebration's gold-card clientele, but eight dollars for a big cheeseburger, fries and slaw is one bargain that my pocket of crumpled singles can get behind.

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