House 3: Body Collectors: Collections of the Past
September 16, 2008
TC: Universal’s loving rip-offs of The Gentlemen from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" episode 'Hush' are back with a taste for people parts. Probably my favorite all-around house of the bunch, with a serious emphasis on gore. The Body Collectors roam through a gaslit Victorian slaughterhouse, not so much collecting bodies as taking them apart like squishy little Lego houses. These guys do not play well with their toys. Spoiler alert: If you’re pissed off at Sweeney Todd’s performance in the Bill and Ted show, here’s where you can come to watch him get his.
PH: I’m in full agreement. The sets are very well done, complete with a goodly Whitechapel whore predicting your imminent demise (that’s not the happy ending I had in mind), and there’s little creepier than a tall, bald, pale guy grinning at you for no good reason (I’m talking to you, too, Tod). The scares come quick and are pretty relentless, even though they are a repetition of Scream-Chop-Gurgle from room to room. When you hit the operating room, stop the line until you witness the full procedure – the ghastly noises of a popping spine-ectomy followed by golf-clapping is disturbingly fulfilling.
